Monday, October 3, 2011

Dear Life, This is Going to be a Lot of Lemonade. Sincerely, Thanks for the Lemon Basket.

If Life has 1,000 lemons and gives Lauren three-fourths of the lemon crop, how many lemons does Lauren have?
    A) 100 lemons. Enough for Lauren to perfect her lemonade-making skills.
    B) 250 lemons. Enough for Lauren to make a lemonade stand.
    C) 500 lemons. Enough for Lauren to spare a couple hundred to throw at the car that cut her off.
    D) 750 lemons. Enough for Lauren to get really creative with making lemonade, lemon cake, lemon pie, lemon squares, lemon cookies and probably a few lemon chickens.
Any good lemon recipes, anyone?

I've worked hard my whole life. I've done all I can to make sure that I could make it in this world. Essentially, that means I needed a good job offer. As a post-grad, I was anxious to get out there and start working. A few great job leads came my way, and I had several interviews. Then it came. The validation that I had done everything right. Someone wanted me. All those physical, emotional, mental and social sacrifices I gave to further my education and experience paid off.

I accepted the job. I had a house lined up, was looking for a car, had reunions planned and visions of myself walking into the office in my dang-cute, new high heels and black dress. Then I found out that I needed knee surgery. It was going to be really tricky trying to mesh my anticipated recovery time with the job responsibilities.

(Cue the extra prayers, pro/con list, emotional breakdowns and parental advice.)

My answer came as if it was the only option. I had to give up the job. It wasn't a forceful, "You have to give this job up now. It's not for you." It was a voice that came into my heart and spoke to my mind in a gentle, peaceful, comforting tone that said, "Give up the job."

It was hard to do. It frustrates me that I have to put my completely independent life on hold for another block of time. But for some reason, this is what my Heavenly Father wants me to do. Why did I feel good about accepting the job offer when He was eventually going to tell me otherwise? Why did I even get the offer in the first place?

I don't know the answer to these questions and probably won't for a long time. In this economy, most people would call me crazy for turning down a good job offer because God told me.

I can understand that. The person I know myself to be would usually be freaking out with a stress level that would enable me to squeeze all 750 lemons dry in one hour. But for some reason, I'm not worried. I'm grateful that my knee will get taken care of. I can't give one-hundred percent to anything on a bad knee. And I'm still scared to do anything on it. So I'm trying to look at this as a blessing. But why does it have to happen in the exact time of my life when I'm trying to transition into becoming a fully-functioning adult?

Again, I don't know. But I'm grateful that I feel my Heavenly Father near me. His peace is comforting and is the only thing—aside from my family—that is keeping me sane. 



  1. Oh Lauren I know this must be so rough- I remember feeling the same way when I finally got accepted to Hawaii and everything seemed perfectly slated for it in every aspect, and then got the the firm, but kind 'its not for you.' While our experiences may not be the same, just know that we feel for you and have felt a portion of it. Things will work out though-they have to. Its hard to see right side up when everything feels upside down, but just know that your decisions and efforts are not wasted. You are an example of faith and endurance through all things for us, and that is more important then you know. WE are proud of you and so is Heavenly Father and he will continue to give you reassurances of peace in the times you want to revisit the why. Stay positive and keep ya head up! LOVE YOU call anytime, and we will keep you in our prayers!