Tuesday, September 18, 2012

What You Pray For

Be careful what you wish for. Well in my case, it's be careful what you pray for.

I spent a lot of money (more than you are thinking right now) on getting my visa application papers together so that I can be a missionary in Brazil. When everything was done and I sent off that fat envelope to the LDS Missionary Department, I remember praying that my visa would go through with ease so that my money would not go to waste.

And go through with ease it did.

My visa came through in just over a month. Brazil is supposed to be one of the most difficult missionary visas to get. You always hear of missionaries who get called to Brazil and are often sent to serve for several weeks somewhere in the states before they get their visas.

Well, I can't complain. My prayer was answered.

But that's not all. I got a call from my stake president last Thursday night. "I've been in touch with the Missionary Department. Your visa's come through," he said.

"Oh, good," I replied.

"They want to know if you can go on Oct. 10."

"Oh ... wow. That's less than a month away."

I was stunned. And I was laughing. President gave me the night to think it over. The phones were hung up, and I started to cry. And I don't think this was a happy or sad cry. It was one of those "I don't know what to feel ... what is happening with my life ... I can't believe it" kind of cry. Yeah. Then I laughed again. Then I cried again. Whew.

About an hour and a half later—after talking with my parents and praying and pondering—I called President back and gave him my answer. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep that night if I postponed that phone call. It was confirmed at 8 a.m. the next morning that I will indeed be reporting to the MTC in Brazil on Oct. 10 instead of Nov. 21.

This is so typical of my life. There's always some kind of twist, and I'm always being whisked away to something new. Why is my life like this? Is there something I need to learn? Don't get me wrong, it's always exciting! Just strange.

I had so many things I wanted to do with my family before I left, and now we are making lists and marking calenders to try and fit over 2 months of activities into 3 weeks.

Also, I only have a few Sundays left before I go. One is General Conference, another is a designated Fast Sunday because of General Conference, and the other is our Stake Conference. That left only this last Sunday for me to be able to speak. So, I got my farewell talk together in about one night. I'm grateful that I had family and friends make last minute trips to hear me speak. They are awesome! Oh, but I was a hot mess. So emotionally unstable. Haha. But I'm allowed to be.

I'm better now, after having a few days to adjust my mind set. Although after rereading this blog post, I can tell that my mind is chaos and it's all over the place. Oh well. Writing is my outlet. If you've made it this far through the post, I am impressed.

I was thinking about this past year, and I will be reporting to the MTC 11 months to the day after I had my knee surgery. I am amazed and so grateful at how Heavenly Father has gotten me through this last year. It should have been one of the hardest times of my life, but it turned out to be one of the happiest times of my life. It's amazing what a positive attitude and a little faith can do. I felt Him carrying me, and I don't think He ever set me down. Not once. Not to rest his arms, not to take a nap, and not to test if I was ready to stand on my own.

He is there. He always is.



  1. I can think of a thousand things this makes me think of, but really, there are no words, Lauren. Just feelings and memories distilling. Hang on for the ride of your life!!! You know that thing they say about a broken heart being like breaking sod for the planting? Yeah. Like that.